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Monthly Archives: December 2013

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I wrote a review for Spike Jonze latest Her already so I won’t reiterate too much. One thing I do wanna say is that no movie brought out so many emotions in me than this film. I’ve always looked at Spike Jonze as a hipster eccentric–it’s what I love about him–so I wasn’t prepared for film that was so adult. Its approach to love, life and relationships felt personal, thought-out and erased of fluff. Even the tweeness in the film didn’t feel forced or nauseating. Her is a movie based in a world that we live in now (at the least, one we’re very close to) and rather than take a cynical approach, it took a caring one. I honestly believe that 12 Years A Slave was the best film released this year: it was the most important, brutal and honest portrayal of a dark history that I’ve seen this year. But Her was my favorite because it got to my own insecurities and made me feel ok. No movie that I’ve seen in a long time has made love and heartache seem so worth it more than Her.

Other great movies:

12 Years A Slave

Before Midnight

Francis Ha

Gimmie The Loot

Upstream Color

Fruitvale Station

Inside Llewyn Davis

The World’s End

Wadjda

 

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Winter is the worst season. Everything is bleak, dark and cold and it brings out the worst feelings burrowed deep inside of you.

I’ve been sad a lot lately because of winter and because of loneliness and because of a deepening lack of fulfillment with my job and the poor life decisions I’ve been making. I’ve felt stuck because I’m not really sure what exactly would make me happy right now.

My writing is becoming stagnating because I’m not writing for me anymore, and writing for other people has gotten so arduous that I don’t even like writing at all right now. My actual job is relentless and everyday I come home and curl up into a ball and pray something happens that forces me not to go in the next day.

I go back home to see my parents at the end of the week and I’m not thrilled by that either. There’s nothing in my old hometown for me there either. I don’t really belong here or anywhere that I know of. Hell, I’m not even sure who I am anymore. My life has devolved into a mess of hangovers, laziness and bad decisions. I feel no control.

This is not a cry for help. I’m not interested in holding hands and talking it out. Kind words aren’t going to have much of an effect here. I understand that people have bigger problems– this is just a release. I’ve been trying to figure this life out for 24 years and I’m probably not gonna stumble on the answer tomorrow. Maybe someday things won’t be like this but for now this is what it is. Winter is here and I am a ball of sadness.

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