It’s december, which means list after insufferable list claiming to be the authority on what was great about this shitty year. Not one to be holier than thou, I will also be cramming insufferable and opinionated bullshit down your throat–but you know, I won’t pretend like it’s some sort of definitive statement on what this year meant in the pop culture sphere. So here are ten songs that pretty much let you know what 2012 was, enjoy them as you patiently wait for the apocalyptic hellfire soon to swallow this earth… or something:
1. Frank Ocean – “Pyramids”
While many a journalist and music aficionado has waxed poetic about Channel Orange, I found it pretty inconsistent and an album that lost its luster pretty quick; but it was still a great record nonetheless, and “Pyramids” is pretty much the best song released this year. A truly great pop song–it was brooding R&B with an electronic sheen, and it was 10 minutes of glorious funk and style.
2. Juicy J – “Bandz A Make Her Dance”
Sure, go ahead and pretend you weren’t fixated on this song. Yeah yeah, I know… you only listen to that real hip-hop and can’t be bothered with the garishness and cartoonish ignorance on display. Yawn, it gets old–you say no to ratchet club musc, Iz Daramola can’t!
3. Japandroids – “Fire’s Highway”
There are probably a lot of people turned off by the Japandroid’s “bro-ness”. Those guys suck. There’s something awesome about a couple dudes who play like they got bored one day and started a band, even if it is just to write songs about partying and drinking. After seeing these guys at Pitchfork over the summer, I became an even bigger fan.
4. Kendrick Lamar- “Bitch Don’t Kill my vibe”
It was a pretty tough call trying to pick which song from K.Dot’s fantastic debut best deserved a spot on this list. I had to go with the second track ultimately because, as 15 year old narcissistic girls would put it, this song is totally my life.
5. Dirty Projectors- “Dance For You”
I don’t know why I love this so much–I just, man I don’t know.
6. Trinidad Jame$- “All Gold Everything”
POP A MOLLY I’M SWEATIN, WHOOO! POP A MOLLY I’M SWEATIN, WHOOO!
7. Future- Turn On The Lights
To all the hip-hop nerds out there, for what it’s worth, I tried really hard not to like this one.
8. 2 Chainz ft. Kanye West- “Birthday Song”
Come on bruh, how could I not include this one.
9. G.O.O.D. Music- “Mercy”
Despite luxury rap overkill at this point, you can’t deny that this was the jam of the summer (well at least until Bandz started to catch on). The illuminati and Givenchy have been good to the G.O.O.D. crew.
10. Carly Rae Jepson- “Call Me Maybe”
Real headz know the deal. The rest of you can fall back son.
11. Childish Gambino- “Shoulda Known”
I’m glad bino is doing some more actual rapping this time around, but I still couldn’t resist the catchiness of this little pop-baiting jam.
12. Nicki Minaj/ 2 Chainz – “Beez In The Trap”
Gotta hand it to Nicki, her 15 minutes is lasting a lot longer than I thought it would.
13. Allo’ Darlin – “Tallulah”
See number 5
14. Domo Genesis- “The Daily News”/ A$AP Mob – “Thuggin’ Noise/Curren$y- “Jet Life”
The “cool kid” rap crowd had as big a year as any other bullshit niche genre. Domo’s EP with The Alchemist was one of the best releases of the year by an OF member not named Frank. The A$AP mob album may have been a little “meh” overall, but it was still lots of fun. Curren$y, well Curren$y does what he always does, put out constant dope shit.
15. Fiona Apple- “Valentine”
This is purely just to impress the art crowd–or whatever. I don’t care what you think, you know.