You Should Let Me Teach Your Kids

I’m really quite good. I’m not one of those “turn the lights off and make the kids watch a movie” types–unless I’m hungover… or just plain sick of looking at them. Today’s kids could learn a lot from me, such as: math, science, language arts, breaking into buildings and vehicles, learning not to take any shit from the man and extreme afro-centrism (helpful in the overthrow of the white bourgeois system). My lesson plan is immaculate. Full of plans and papers about numbers and shit or that asshole Descartes, stupid stuff like that. I’m pretty great at sitting at a desk AND standing in front of that desk, if the pay is good enough I’ll even do some talking. I’m great at pretending I’m listening, even though I never am (NEVER EVER). I promise to allows look out for your child’s safety, you know, unless he/she acts like a dick or something… then fuck him or her… I’m not opposed to fighting a child no matter how small, I don’t PLAY NO GAMES. At any rate, I’m sure you’re already hooked by what I’ve released about myself so far. Feel free to pass this information to any middle or high school in your town–no elementary schools, I’m not allowed within a 15 mile radius of any one in the country. I look forward to changing your kid’s life, and who knows, maybe it’ll even be for the better.


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