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Someday we’ll all be dead. Nothing makes you think about this more than having a disease. I was born with sickle cell anemia and, while my flare-ups or “crisis” thankfully don’t happen often, when they do happen it’s always hard to deal with. I spent yesterday in the emergency room and have been spending today on the “hard stuff”–percocet–while taking naps and waiting for another Mad Men about existential crisis’s or whatever the hell to come on. I’m looking at this post and seeing all the grammatical errors I’m making and just thinking “fuck it who cares”. I’ve probably thought about my own death 5 times a minute which is 3 more than usual. I’m currently wondering how long it would take for my body to be found if I kicked it right now. My guess would be about a week, but I’m not confident.  The Miami heat won the nba title on Thursday and I’m pretty convinced that had something to do with why this is happening to me right now– seriously the red wedding of basketball games.

I realize I’m babbling but fuck it I paid for the domain so I’ll do what I feel. I’m hungry but I’m also tired. The meds just kicked in so I’m feeling a little better, also there’s an ice cream sandwich in the fridge that I should totally go eat. I don’t even remember why I chose to write this or when I started writing it. Whatever, it doesn’t really matter.

I’ve been pretty under the weather these past two days (Thanks bi-polar Washington weather!) and, as a result of not being physically motivated to move much, I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking. One of the thoughts that seems to worm their way into my psyche often is figuring out what exactly this blog of mine is, furthermore, what am I hoping to gain from it–if anything at all.

I still don’t really have an answer for you, I just know that I want this to be for me. For me to escape the banality of a so-far unfulfilling life by writing snark-like and candidly about whatever is on my mind or whatever I learn about from different outlets. This is far from a perfect place; really it’s just a place for me to zone out when I need zoning out from real-life (which, who doesn’t?). Ultimately, I hope if you decide to read this at any point it’s because, at some point, I said something that made you go, “me too.”

I mean that’s all we really want as humans right? For someone to understand where we’re coming from.

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